We Are Never Meeting in Real Life

Can you believe we are already in 2020? Crazy, right? What are some new year intentions you created for yourself? Did you finally do all the things you said you were going to do? Me either.
This year has been a slow transition. I’m slowly learning to trust into the universe more. Even though, I hate that shit. Sometimes it’s not the universe but truly ourselves that need to take the leap. But whatever.
I’ve been reading more this year. I started reading poems to fix my stupid broken heart. Surprisingly though, that shit just made me feel even worse. Memory lane is a fucking bitch. So I turned to Noname’s book club and what she has on the list. That’s when I found, We are never meeting in real life by Samatha Irby. This bitch is everything. (I mean bitch in a good way.) She’s bold, hilarious and at moments felt like I was reading about my own journal.
what I loved about this book right off the jump was her writing style. It felt like you were catching up with an old friend. An old friend who had everything to say and wasn’t afraid to say it. She’s raw.

The fabulous Samantha Irby // @bitchesgottaeat

I don’t want to go too detailed about the book because I don’t want to ruin it, so instead I will share my favorite quotes from the book that had me rolling and/or I related too so fuckin hard.

I’m in love and it’s boring: “How do I know I’m in love if I don’t want to kill myself all the time?”
I’m in love and it’s boring: “The gut wrenching pain of causal rejection was my oxygen.”
“Foolish to expect that what you’ll want two, five or ten years from now will be exactly the same thing that fills you up today.”
Feelings are a mistake: “I cried all the way to the 24 hr grocery store and ate half of a rotisserie chicken in the parking lot. It was the tribute she would have wanted.”
Feelings are a mistake: “I just tried to haphazardly arrange other peop le’s projections and shit I thought was cool into something captivating.”

You DONT have to be grateful for sex: “I feel like my sexiness is a thing that creeps up on you, like mold on a loaf of corner store bread you thought you’d get there more days out of.”

You don’t have to be grateful for sex: ““you wanna touch it?” He offered hopefully. “oh, no, thank you!” I replied with a forced cheerfulness like I was at a friends house turning down his mom’s offer of a second helping of peas.”

The whole section, A semi detailed manifest of a few smoking hot dudes I’ve banged who thought I should have thanked them for the pleasure.

Fuck it bitch, stay fat: “You need bitches to write about how comfortable maternity jeans are for women who aren’t really pregnant. And sexy ways to remove a bra with four hooks.”
Fuck it bitch, stay fat: “I’m a negative person by nature and I typically shy away from anything that requires me to be having visible fun.”

Happy Birthday: This whole chapter means a lot to me, also having to watch a parent slowly die/ when they get sick is some real heavy shit. This was very relatable and at times I was still able to laugh at certain situations. Samantha has such a way to her writing, even for the sad shit.

All in all, this book is absolutely everything and just such a great read, so if you’re black, queer, gay, fat, femme, however you identify this is the book for you!

Another collection of essays by @bitchesgottaeat